My ex keeps texting me and I don't know what to do
My ex and I broke up 4 months ago. It was my decision because he was emotionally unavailable. Now he texts me every few days saying he misses me and wants to talk. Part of me wants to respond but I know it's a bad idea. How do I make it stop?
1 Answer(s)
This is one of the hardest situations because your brain is wired to respond to someone who used to be your person. But you already know the answer — you just need permission to trust it.
Here's the truth: he's not texting because he changed. He's texting because he's lonely or bored, and you're the easiest option. Emotionally unavailable people don't become emotionally available because their ex misses them. They become available when they do the internal work, and that takes years, not texts.
The kindest thing you can do — for both of you — is no contact. Not because you're being petty, but because every response resets your healing clock. Every "let's talk" conversation will end the same way it did before.
Mute his messages. Don't block if that feels too aggressive, but do not reply. Not even "leave me alone." Silence is the clearest message.
In 30 days you'll feel 80% better. In 90 days you'll wonder why you ever considered responding. Trust the process.